I have been paying for yesterdays trip to the flea market. My hips and ankle are killing me. I'm pretty sure 'm gonna sell that welder today. I have a little something lined up already if I do. It'd been a few weeks since I had something of my own and depending on friends to stop by just ain't good enough. I really don't have but two friends. And they ain't what I really call friends. They only come see me when they are bored or one of them will come by when he wants someone intelligent to talk to about his problems. Cathy has had a bad time the latter part of this night, or most of the morning depending on how you look at it. I haven't had a real friend around in over twenty years. I've only had two or three my entire life and one of them was my older brother. And he didn't treat me worth a shit till I finally got angry before I thought about him beating up on me most of my life. I reckon he just never had any respect for me till I showed him, and me, that I could actually hurt him if he jumped on me. We were working on a shopping center in the Ft. Walton area and he got mad about something and I was already mad because he had been riding me and we both seemed to blow up about the same time. We were on top of the main store and started at it and jumped all the way down and kept at it till I just got ahold of him and started giving him back some of the grief and poundings he had given me all my life. Up to that point in time anyway. From then on, we were pretty close. More like partners and actually became very good connecting partners. Thats a pair of men that work well together while hanging the steel when there ain't nothing there till we put it there, with the help of ground crew and a crane, sometimes two cranes depending on what we were setting. We did a gymnasium once that had a clear span of something like 70 feet or more and were setting pre-stressed concrete roof panels and they took a crane on each end to lift and set in place. Doing things like that, you have to be good and know what each other is going to do. Our lives were always depending on each other when we were hanging steel, or concrete panels. We had a guy we liked working with us in Mississippi one time on a concrete architectural design piece made from concrete panels and the D-ring used to hook the panel for lifting came loose and the panel fell on him and killed him instantly. It was the fabricators or more specifically, the piece embedded in the concrete that the bolt screws into to hold the D-ring that was at fault. But blame doesn't matter when your dead. That was the same company that we were working for that got Kenny killed. When I look back on things. Kenny was important to my stability all my life. when we were shipped off to this family or that one, we always went together. Robbie and Jennifer always had one place to go but me and Kenny just got sent to who ever would take us. Thats how I met my Dad for the first time in my memory. Mama had a boyfriend that didn't want any more kids than his own grown son and she made arrangements through Dad's mother to get us to him. Grandma was the only way he could be found because Mama used to keep draging him into court about child support every time she found out where he would run away to. Anyway, two times in my life, Kenny was taken away without me and both times, I went to shit. The first time, he went to jail for 5 years. I started doing drugs pretty good then. I wound up going to jail when shortly after I turned 17. In Florida, you go to big boys jail when you are over 16. I was the youngest person there till a few weeks before I got out. I wasn't at that place more than two weeks before I told them to stick it up their ass. I wasn't a slave and wasn't going out in the swamps and ditches doing road work for them. They had a place for people with an attitude problem. They stuck me in the hole and liked to starved me to death. I only got let out because I would pass out from just standing up in my cell. I had lost alomst half my body weught during those few weeks. And it was always dark except when the guards would bring the cups of baby food they would feed us. And they would bring what they called a doctor by I think it was twice a week. He's the one that made them let me out of the hole. The guards had to help me walk I was so weak. After that episode, I became very fond of eating regular.
Well, while this is a little distracting form my pain, but it doesn't make any of it go away so I need to get up and move around a little so I'm gonna make breakfast. Later.
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