Things are going relativly well. With a decent amount of sleep, and taking the edge off the pain, I can at least have a little while of feeling OK. Cathy gave me a reminder of why I am willing to do whatever it takes to take care of her. She woke up crying and asking for me. "Wheres Terry. Terry. Terry." I'm the one she depends on. I'm the one she trusts to take care of her and knows that I'm her mate, protector, and as concerned with her well being as much if not more than my own. She's the only sign that there is a god of some kind. She is dumber than dirt, but is always saying and doing some little thing at just the right time to let me know she does love me. She's not really that dumb, but she is slightly retarded in her development and has been regressing somewhat in the last few years. She seems to have a reset mechanism of some sort that triggers inside her brain and makes things alright for her. She can't always accept the truth and will just go about life as if there never was whatever the situation happens to be that doesn't fit into her world. Thats what I need, a reset button. Then I could lie to myself and believe everything was alright without any consequences when things got to shit. Just hit reset and everything is alright again. No muss, no fuss. Sometimes, Cathy's doesn't reset quickly enough. It is generally me that causes her worst problems. Sometimes not. I hate it when it is me. She is such a gentle soul.
Gotta go.
No comments:
Post a Comment