I knew it was too good to last. Cathy started this morning. Refusing to behave and says shes going to tell the nurses I hit her when I just slapped her on her butt to get her to pay attention to me. I recon I'm abusing her and she needs to find someone else to care for her. I believe it would make my life a little easier. I don't think she's the root cause of any of my problems but she doesn't make life easy for me.
I took a Xanax some time ago but it isn't helping. I'm holding everyting back so as to not traumatize Cathy before her dental appointment, but the tears won't stop. I could probably get them to stop if I were to stop holding back but that wouldn't be good for Cathy or me. This place has enough holes in walls and doors, it doesn't need any more. I'm gonna have to sell it some day. Also, letting go may not stop the tears anyway. I have been in a totaly uncontroled rage and the tears just streaming down my face at the same time. I have had episodes when driving that I had to pull of the road and park for short time to get under control enough to get home. And now the nurse is here trying to understand whats up so she can deal with Cathy and I have to tell her things I'ld rather not go into verbaly right now. I can't stop and walk away for a while when talking to people like I can here.
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