I'm coping

Just barely but I am coping with everything. The noise is the worst thing right now.I washed a load of clothes and changed the sheets for Cathy. I need to shave pretty bad, and a shower probably wouldn't hurt either. I don't think I have any odor besides deoderant because I wash off in the sink fairly often and a complete shower if I get dirty or sweaty. I don't do a lot. It hurts to just exist so physical activity is something I avoid as much as possible. I didn't used to. Before I had to start helping Cathy with everything, I would do what work I could do. I used rebuild cars from the auctions and resale them. But that was when Cathy took care of me. Now, I have to take care of me, Cathy, and the house as much as I'm able. Cathy gets most of the effort. She seems to be getting stronger for the time being and while that is great, it causes problems for me. She wants to mess around with everything in the house as well as stand up and cook and wash the dishes and do laundry and clean the floors. She's probably tired of eating frozen dinners from throw away trays. What she mostly does is plunder through what is left in the back room. Up untill recently, that room was so full of trash and even broken glass on the floor and I wouldn't let her even go beyond the living room, bedroom and bathroom. Anyway, she isn't going to behave and I have to keep up with her. She is at risk two ways when she gets like this. First is that if she uses up too much of what little life energy (best term I could figure  out) her heart rate can get to low to keep her alive. Recently, her heart rate is fairly normal and her blood pressure is normal. For most of the last year though, her heart rate was in the 40s and low 50s. Sometimes so low that I couldn't even raise the head of her bed to feed her without her getting light headed and I would have to lower her head down closer to the level of her heart so it wouldn't take as much effort to get blood to her brain. And she used to need a high output of oxygen. And secondly, she is at great risk of falling and hurting herself. It was a broke leg that was either a catalist or transition point in her neurological disorder that got us to this point. Actualy, I was more capable of doing things before she got down. I made my back somewhat worse by having to carry her up and down stairs and lifting her in and out of the bath tub. Not having insurance, it took a while to get a wheel chair and a lot longer to get a chair for her bath that will lower and raise her back up. Twice, when trying to get her out of the bathtub, my back gave out with a sharp pain and I collapsed with her in my arms/ Even then, I proteced her head from impacting the tub. I even thought about calling the rescue people to come help us the second time but I got stong enough after a while and figured out way that wasn't too painfull for Cathy and not as much pressure on my back. If things hadn't been so serious, it probably would have looked comical to anyone looking as us two getting her in and out of the tub. Thank god for that bath chair.
  She's calling me again so I should go help her to the bathroom. Later.