Try this again

Here it is in the afternoon. I had to go to the dollar store and get some bleach. I messed up and let the laundry pile up and now I need some clean sheets. The store is right next door, thank goodness, so I just walk there and back. It wears me out. Its only 133 steps from my front door to the the dollar store door. Walking around to get some bleach and grab some cokes while I'm making the trip. I get home and I'm out of breath and my ankle and hips are starting to change from a small ache to out right pain. I'm too old for this. But I'm only 56. I see people with 10 to 15 years on me and they act like someone a lot younger than I feel. What is my life going to be like in a few more years? Heck, I ain't sure what is gonna happen to me when Cathy does die. I haven't been able to actualy earn enough money to be a decent living since I was an iron worker. That was back in 1986. I stepped into a deep ditch to keep from falling into it and possibly hitting my head on the concrete wall.  I went to small town emergency room and they said it was just a sprain. Went to doctor recomended by the people I worked for when we got home and he starts lecturing me about having people arrested for insurance fraud but I've no education and these people are college educated so I should listen. For 6 weeks, he was telling me to go back to work doing light duty. There ain't no such thing as light duty for an iron worker. I kept trying to go back but could only stand one or two partial days a week. After awhile, the boss wanted a release from the doctor but my ankle was still swolen and black. The doctor then decided to send me to a specialest and discovered I had broken it. This jerk had been lecturing me about insurance fraud instead of trying to make sure that things were in order for a patient in a lot of pain  and unable to find anything that would work to relieve that pain without side effects that were/are unacceptable. All the specialest I started going to after that kept telling me I would be able to return to my job soon so when they released me finally, I was stupid enopugh to accept the insurance companies offer to settle without a lawsuit so I could pay everybody I owed money to off and get back to work. Well, I'm hard headed and kept on trying to man up and keep working but it gets dangerous working at heights when you are putting up the steel skeleton of buildings. I finally just quit and came home to Florida. I've tried numerous things but they were never very profitable and were very much labor intensive. I even went so far as to get a roofing contractors license in Fl and was doing alright when I got rear ended at a traffic light. Went to the doctors and did the drug round table thing and wound up running through the insurance with no good options. They sent me a letter stating something like " since there hasen't been any treatment options that show any promise for your injury and the fact that you have almost reached the limits of this policy, we are no longer going to pay for treatment for you." Now I have a messed up ankle and a bad back and my hips are giving me a lot of trouble for some reason. I even learned computer repair and got certified as a network technician but I was never able to land a job. I think it was me having to always ask people to speak up or repeat things when I couldn't hear enough to figure out what they were saying. This was the first time the noise in my head was anything more than annoying. Now it is a screaming banshee in my ears and a lot more than just annoying. I did get a job at one of those call centers but with my hearing and all, that didn't last long enough to get past the probationary period. I was also able to get a job driving a trash truck but it beat me up pretty bad and I couldn't keep it up. I finaly just let my comercial license go so I wouldn't have to keep getting a health certificate to keep my drivers license. Gotta go.