here comes the sun

  Well, after a heat spell that made Cathy hot enough to want the ACs put back in the windows, its been chilly for the last two nights. And mornings. I've ben wrapped up in one of those blanket things with the arm holes since I got up. Been playing solitaire and listening to my music for a couple hours and realized I wasn't going to be able to get any more sleep when the day light started creeping around the window blinds.
  Cathy was a problem to get to go to bed. She will get something going through her head and become like a woman on a mission. Almost an obsession sometimes. She gets these delusions about people steeling her stuff. First off, nobody is stealing her stuff. Second, only a child would want most of it bad enough to pilfer anything she has. She will set up in her bed and make me get all her jewelry boxes and cases and the cheep Walmart glass beeds she plays/works with and makes such a  mess, a normal person  would have problems finding everything and getting things back together. I have bought her many a container of backs for those little earings and she still has problems finding enough to put what earings she hasn't lost back together in pairs on the little cards they come on.  Did i mention she has paranoid delusions? She sometimes sees people breaking in through the ceiling and coming through the walls. She used to be satisfied with imagining they were coming in through the door but I thought I would reassure her and set her mind at ease if I blocked the door with putting a chair back leaning as a wedge under the door knob. I even went out the back door and showed her that it would take enough force to shatter the door and/or door frame to get through but her mind just got worse. She woke me up one time, trying to be all hush hush, telling me there was a girl under my bed. She has seen a monkey running around and wanted me to catch it for her or coax it into coming to her so she could play with it and love on it and such. It gets to be real hard for me to deal with her when she gets like that. Fortunately, her psycotic episodes have gotten fewer and not as severe as they were. But she still believes what she was seeing was real. Even when I find something that she thought was stolen, she says its either not the same thing that was stolen or thats why they kept coming back was because they didn't want whatever it was in her mind that they stole and brought it back. There are a lot of times I just have to walk away from her and turm my music up loud enough to make it hard to hear her and just ignore her for awhile. Thats not good for her but me getting out of control is even worse, I think, and it sure ain't good for me. She will sometimes try to walk and chase me down, into the next room or even the bathroom, and has hurt herself a coulpe of times falling to the floor. She can walk, kinda, a little when gets her dander up. Its more like falling and keeping her feet moving forward underneath her trying to catch her ballance. She has some success with that but the further it is for her to go to reach something to grab ahold of, the more dangerous it becomes. She fell one time and was all tangled up in a roll around table like in the hospitals and banged up her nose. I thought sure that she was going to have something broken that time but we were lucky. When she broke her leg, I had to literaly carry her around and lift her in and out of the bath tub for almost a month before we could get a wheel chair for her. My back went out on me twice back then and both of us went down. Both times, it was trying to get her out of the bath tub and we are lucky she didn't bang her head on the tub. There are still times when I have to rescue her and pick her up off the floor but we have to work together now to do it. I can no longer just grab her and pick her up as I would want. I used to show off to her and hold her by her elbows and pick her up like a weight lifter doing "curls", I think thats what they call it. I am definatly not the man I once was. Her brother has a fish camp that has about 25-30 feet of stairs, I don't know how many steps, but right after she broke her leg and it was in a cast, I could get away with picking her up and carrying her up and down all those stairs so she could ride on Freddys party barge. Good thing we didn't go there very often. I would have to bite down and just keep putting one foot forward after another but I was able to do it but I can't even pick her up without the likelyhood of dropping both of us now days. When she winds up on the floor now, we have to work together and even wait till she is able to work with me sometimes, to get her back up. Gotta stop.