Tuesday, June 28, 2011

same ol same ol

  Well, its been a week and things are stagnant. This noise is terrible right now but that isn't unusual. I'm thinking about learning sign language. I don't know if I can keep going with this thing getting worse and worse for the next 20 years.
  Cathy is doing about the same. She wakes up in the morning in pain and spends about and hour and a half to two hours making my life miserable and then she gets worn out and spends most of the rest of the day in bed. But, she gets up again sometime later in the day and starts all over again. Can't blame the dear heart. I don't know how I'ld act in the same position. I recon being somewhat mentally underdeveloped helps some. I still try to keep her from believing she is dying and it still works most of the time.
  It's unbearably hot around here. two ACs trying to cool two rooms and a bathroom can't keep it below 87 inside sometimes. I walk outside and its like the air is too hot and too thick to breath. I'm in terrible shape. We can't afford it but I hired a kid to cut the grass for $30 today. I'm almost afraid for anybody to do anything around here in this heat for fear they might get sick and/or hurt and sue me. This house is the only thing I have of any value to sell after Cathy is gone to restart my life with, somewhere in a better climate. Maybe go up to Alaska. I always wanted to go there. In my condition, it would probably be a toss up as to weather I starved to death before I could freeze to death or vise versa.
  Seams like death is always near in my mind now days. My oldest son died a few years back and Cathy is near dying now and I don't know if I want to be around anymore myself. Maybe go back to being drunk all the time and won't have to care then. Its been a long time since I got into a bar fight. Wonder how things would turn out now days?
  Well, this is depressing enough for now. Later

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