Cathy should be happy

  I fixed a drawer for her cabinet this morning and found her earrings she had been making me miserable over for over a month. Then she wants a full on cooked meal. And I have been having those strange pains again. They feel like a stabbing, hot, touchy pain. I can press on the spot without any distress from the touch but let something just brush up against it or very light pressure and it hurts like all get out. It's been a few weeks since they were a problem but they can sure add problems when I already got plenty. And I don't think my doctor cares much. He doesn't really listen to what I say all the time but like everyone else hears what he wants or expects to hear. The last time I saw him, he said he doesn't really need to see me again unless something comes up. And now, he's on vacation with me not able to get my medication refilled till he gets back. I thought he might be different when I first met him and he is definitely not as bad as a lot of the ones I've seen in the past but I don't believe I'm anything more than a step on his path in life and easily dismissed. And I'm having trouble finding a friend that can help me out so things are gonna suk for a while. I can live with the short sleep but I have terrible nightmares when I don't have anything to help me sleep.   Anywhere from just frightening and torturous to extremely violent and always frustrated to do anything in them. And Cathy was demanding my attention when we went and got a few groceries and I forgot about anything I wanted. I wanted to look at some of the computer games disks that have a bunch of old type games pretty cheap. Solitaire and hearts are OK but it might be better if I had some variety in my distractions. Be able to keep my mind off things for longer and maybe not be quite as easily dominated by either pain or the noise in my head. Sometimes, there isn't anything I can do to keep the depression from making me cry. Not really crying but tears just running down my face and won't stop. gotta go. Cathy wants something and won't leave me alone.