Sunday, August 28, 2011
Out of the blue, my half sister, Cheryl, called me yesterday. I was glad to hear from her. I don't know if I should keep in touch with her or not. She is sweet and my sister but we were raised differently. She had her mother protecting her from everything she could and she doesn't seem to have looked much beyound the surface. She also had our father at least sticking around and he was probably as good a father as I was to my sons but I never got the benefit of any of that because he really never wanted to be my father more than a wistfull thought now and then. I didn't know what to do as a father but I did stick around for my kids and my wife. And I do know that even someone like me being always there was better than no one. Anyway, she has a far different view of our world than I do and I don't think my view of things would be good for her. She seems happy from our conversation and she probably deserves to be happy. Or at least she doesn't deserve my miserable reality. And I'm not good at all keeping things to myself if other people keep bringing the subject up. And it seems like her family experiences are important to her. Very much interaction with me would probably disillousion her quite a bit. If nothing else, she probably wouldn't like me at a minimum and my views of the world could make her as miserable as me. I want to tell you that being brutaly honest with ones self is probably not a good thing for most people. At least not people with my history and a sense of honor or compassion. Cathy needs me. I'll have to think about this some more.